I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
