hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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