i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
