return my video game
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
