i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
