he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
