Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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