well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
