By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
