Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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