So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We were destined to go to rehab together
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
