I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize