Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
