If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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