Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
