i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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