I'm going to jail i love you
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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