Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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