I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
