It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
