You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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