I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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