Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
