As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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