The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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