Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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