U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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