based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
