We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
MIDGETS
????
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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