Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My pussy is not your playground.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She's the barista slut.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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