Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
