they need to just BURY HIM!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize