I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
