Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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