Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I wear drunk well.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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