just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize