Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
