I want to make a zoo with you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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