We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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