I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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