Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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