yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
