Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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