as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
