why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
