Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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