I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
