he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
