Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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