I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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