the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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