So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize