Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
