There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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