is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
